Amor Fati

from Amor Fati EP by Joe Boswell

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lyrics

FIRST VOICE:

i haven't tasted air like this
in what feels like years

the wind is at my shoulder
will i remember this?

my skull it cracks
and the hatchling
spreads its wings

and distant seem
the anxieties
and broken promises

that weigh me down
and follow me round my house

and when i am younger
you’ll return
with everything else i've lost

do you remember
what it felt like
as our knees touched
in the dark?

did you realise
what it meant when i
held you to my heart?

but i won't gnash my teeth
or court despair
because all things must
kiss and corrupt again

you weigh me down and
follow me round my house
and if i should falter
the music calms me down

SECOND VOICE:

millennia flare and fizzle out in finger clicks and yet there is no escape. the same life, the same lives, again and again, and in every constellation. the same stale air, the same faces at shop counters, the same words misheard or withheld or lost, dissolved like earth on your tongue.

what's an old soul to teach you? you're as wise as you could ever be. i used to dream i held my fate in the palm of my hands, but i awake each morning to find my fingerprints have changed. when you meet her again as if for the first time she will not recognize your touch, though she may remember the taste of your blood.

too many revisions, too many reinventions. smashed like putty against the wall, all the detail got worn off.

i wonder awhile and try to recall how it felt when she was the only one worth listening to. in vain. i'm a drifter now. but something is changing.

there is a lull, and i can feel it beneath my feet; see its contours pressing gently against the surface of the world. my shoulders loosen, and the air smells of bonfires. i set my heart to the pace of the drums, and know that there will be no more gnashing of teeth, no tearing of hairs, no flaking skin nor wracking uncertainty. no toothache, missing lego pieces, broken flower pots, or wine bar jazz pianists. all illness, all tedium, every lonely night or wasted hour … forgotten.

and the stars fall, bouncing noiselessly off the buildings and street corners.

credits

from Amor Fati EP, released October 1, 2016

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Joe Boswell England, UK

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